the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
