wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
