There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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