he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
