i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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