I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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