did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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