i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize