Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize