Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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