I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
