oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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