Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
