Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
