she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize