I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
