I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He better not be in your backpack
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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