Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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