is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
