Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drunk is a universal language darling
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
