The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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