Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
