"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
