So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize