somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
