I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
