Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize