so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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