My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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