so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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