But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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