He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
