turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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