Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
