I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
