oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My dick has a subreddit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize