uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
