Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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