We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
