i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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