Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
