Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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