All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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