FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
