Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont even know how to be here
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
