Define "chronic" masturbator.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
