I cut my penus on the lid.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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