I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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