I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
