dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
