I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize