6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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