I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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